To make hope effective in bringing change in our life, we need to take action. But taking action can feel threatening and scary because it stirs up all our fears and anxieties about what that change might bring. I have a strong sabotaging inner voice that instills fear into me. Her name is Granny. What I know about Granny, is she loved me. She had my best interests at heart. She would do anything for me. If still alive, she would be one hundred and five years old. She was raised in a small English boarding school in Limpsfield England from the age of six in 1921 to seventeen in 1932. It was drilled into her to be good, be silent, and be small to stay safe and desirable for a gentleman to want to marry her. It worked for her and she married my grandfather who was raised to find a wife just like her, and they followed the social rules of their time. I got the same message from her in the 1970s and 80’s when I was growing up. I know I can break out of this mold and have, but whenever trying something new, risky, and scary, Granny rises up from my subconscious and literally paralyzes me as I try to move forward. I loved Granny, but at these times when she comes to protect me with her ancient teachings, I use a trick to tamp her down. I visualize having a conversation with her and tell her that I know what I want, and it fulfills me. If people don’t like what I am saying or doing, that is their problem, not mine. The hope I have and change I am invoking is for my personal growth and if I fail, I will grow even more. Granny doesn’t show up when I am doing routine things, but when they were new she did. You would think that I’d get used to her protecting me and trying to keep me small and safe, but I never do. Taking action on a new venture is always going to be scary and anxiety-ridden. Now I know that when Granny shows up to protect me I am definitely doing the right thing, which is continuing down the path of my growth and fulfillment. Every time I leap into fear, I know I also have a cheerleader from the other side in Granny.
-What Granny voice dashes your hopes and dreams because they are too big or scary?